My daughter was invited to participate in a photo shoot yesterday. I'll also mention here that it was for a cousin who is starting a new business so it was a "family invite." We were told to arrive at 8 am with a snack and patience. My husband took Zoe to the shoot and I arrived about 30 minutes later. It was in a wooded area so he had to meet me at the road so I'd find my way. When I asked how it was going, he said, "well, the outfit they have Zoe is, um, we'll you'll see."
When we rounded the corner, Zoe was getting her hair fixed and I immediately saw the problem. All of the other little girls were in beautiful, brightly colored dresses with lots of jewelry and colorful hair pieces. Zoe was wearing a white skirt with just a bit of color and a mismatched shirt that was too big for her and her hair was kind of awful as was her head piece. Plus, she was not allowed to wear any jewelry. She really looked out of place. And she wasn't happy about her hair or her hair piece. She was begging the hair/makeup lady to change it but she refused. The hair/makeup also refused to put makeup on Zoe, even though all of the other little girls had makeup, saying Zoe was a natural beauty. Which of course as her mom, I think she is a natural beauty but I might be a bit biased.
Anyway, after they got Zoe ready, she proceeded to complain and whine and pull at her hair saying she wanted it down, not up in "these weird pigtails." By the time she was called for her photo session, she was in a complete fit, crying and refusing to participate.
As her mom, I was mortified and totally embarrassed. None of the other little girls were acting crazy like my daughter and there was nothing I could say or do to calm her down. We finally ended up saying "sorry" and leaving without any pictures. As we were leaving, the cousin told her that she was giving Zoe the clothes as a gift. All I could think was gee thanks for the ugly crap that you would never make your own daughter wear.
For the rest of the day, I was mad at Zoe and frustrated by the whole scene.
But later in the day I started thinking about something. This is the 3rd photo shoot that this family member has held and the first one Zoe has been invited to join. In the past, she had made excuses for why Zoe couldn't be in the shoot even though she has invited her "closer to her" family members to join. We were honestly surprised that she asked Zoe this time but we were excited for Zoe to be part of it. But once I started thinking about the whole scene, I couldn't help but wonder if the dowdy way Zoe was dressed and the fact that they refused to give her any makeup, gave her an ugly hair style, etc. weren't done on purpose? Maybe they didn't really even want Zoe in the shoot but felt obligated to invite her so they purposely made her look "less" than the other models. Maybe their plan was to totally cut Zoe out of the pictures before they were used for ads, etc.
While I was stewing on this theory, I also had another deep thought. Did Zoe actually somehow sense what was going on and that's why she vehemently refused to participate? Did she somehow, on a subconscious level know she was being duped and her crazy behavior was her 6-year-old way of standing up for herself?
I'm not even sure children know when something like that is going down but Zoe was definitely not happy about anything that was happening yesterday and she is generally a very happy little girl. Is it possible she knew?
5 comments:
Kids are pretty smart. I'd hazard a guess she picked up on something from the lady who invited her. It's sad that people can not act decent with children who under normal circumstances would be happy to do whatever you ask of them.
If I get a vote here it would be to not put your daughter in a place where she gets her hopes up by this person or has to deal with them in a similar situation. Your immediate family deserves to be treated better.
As someone who loves G-d I'd be teaching my daughter to forgive this lady and now you have the knowledge that you don't need to be around her. Have your own fun photo shoot with your daughter or take her somewhere to have one done. Actually my second vote is for a mommy and me day...get your nails and hair done and dress up fun. :)
I feel really bad for my daughter. I'm sure she didn't realize exactly what was going on but she knew something wasn't right and she didn't like it. In hindsite, even though I was totally embarrased by her behavior at the time, I'm actually glad that she stood up for herself and refused to participate in something that didn't feel right to her. I'm such a big whimp, I would have just gone along with it, even if I wasn't happy about it. I did take her some special treats when I picked her up at camp today : )
she knew. she didn't know how to verbalize it but she knew she was odd man out. what kind of person does this to a child? dressing her differently than the other children and making her feel out of place. I think it's very very odd.
I vote for the mommy and me day...and trusting your daughters instincts.
(blogger ate my first comment!)
I think Zoe's instincts were right, and that she was being duped. What kind of a person does this to a child...making them feel out of place and odd - it really seems very strange. I'd stay away from these people!
I think the biggest lesson learned for me was trusting Zoe's instincts. I think I assume that because she's a child, she doesn't know best but there are obviously cases where she does know best.
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