How does one work full-time and keep their house clean?

I have a confession. My house is a mess. I used to try to keep it clean but lately, I’ve just given up. By the time we get home from work, prepare and eat dinner, give Zoe a bath and get her into bed, it’s 9 pm and I’m exhausted. The last thing I want to do is clean. And on our one free day each week, we’re busy with birthday parties and errands. Again, the last thing I want to do is clean. We’ve tried several different maids but found them unreliable (they just don’t show up) and expensive considering the results are rarely great. I’d rather spend that money on other things. I’ve also tried implementing a “chores” list for my husband and me but neither of us followed it. Help. How do people work full-time, raise a family and still keep their houses clean and beautiful? Is it even possible?

How to handle a toddler with the "big eye"

When I was young and couldn’t sleep, my grandmother would say, "you have the big eye.” And thanks to Zoe's big eye last night, I’m a walking zombie today. She went to sleep around 8:30. Woke up at midnight scared to death like she’d had a bad dream. And then was up until 3 am or so. By 2:30, I turned into a crazy Mother and started crying and begging her to sleep. My husband, who came running in to rescue me ... or maybe to protect Zoe ... ended up falling asleep on the floor in her room at 3 am. We’re not exactly sure what time she finally went to sleep.

She wasn’t too happy when I dropped her off at daycare this morning, and I’m guessing she’ll be a doing a bit of a sleep-walking herself today. Zoe is usually a great sleeper but there was nothing we could do last night to get her back to sleep. She was playing and reading books to herself and having a great time … unless we left the room and then she was screaming and crying and begging for milk.

I'm not sure which one scared me more ... the talking to herself or the screaming and crying. I went through a phase a few weeks ago where I thought we had a ghost. I smudged the house and the strange happenings stopped. Of course I'm thinking that her late night activities are due to the return of the ghosts. A friend's husband brought up an interesting point today ... is it possible that imaginary friends are actually ghosts? Hmmm, something to think about while your child is babbling to him or herself. But I digress.

Have any of you had this problem with Toddlers? If so, how did you handle the situation while it was happening and how did you function at work the next day?

Hosting the perfect birthday party for kids

We attended a birthday party yesterday for one of my daughter’s friends. He was turning 3. His Mom works full-time as well so I'm guessing she has as little free time as I do. They hosted the party at the Dallas Museum of Nature and Science. It's common, at least among Zoe's friends, for birthday parties to be held at "locations." And I'm guessing, for working Moms, it's a great idea because you generally pay one price and the place does everything for you - a big time saver.

And while parts of the party were great, it did seem a bit overwhelming for 2 and 3 year olds. They had a nice party room and a private entrance for party attendees. The family hosting the party provided pizza and fruit/veggies and cake. Next, a Museum employee came in and gave a very long demonstration about Dinosaurs and volcanoes. My child, of course, was the first to get bored and start acting up. Then others followed her lead. Next was puppet making and finally digging for Dinosaur bones, back to the party room and a chance to explore the rest of the Museum. By this time, Zoe was long overdue for a nap so we headed home instead, which was a shame because we would have loved to check out the rest of the Museum. While the party was nice, I think it was a bit too long and a bit too many activities for 2 and 3 year olds. How about you? What kinds of parties have you thrown for your kids? What works and what doesn’t to keep toddlers entertained but not overwhelmed for parties?

How much do you spend on gifts for kids' birthday parties?

As part of school being back in session comes the return of the endless string of birthday parties. Don't get me wrong, I love taking Zoe to birthday parties. It's always fun for her, and it gives me a chance to meet other moms and catch up with the ones I already know. The part that gives me heartburn is choosing the gift. I spent over an hour at Tuesday Morning and Marshall's this past Friday trying to select just the right present for a three-year-old boy's birthday party that we're attending today. Since I have a daughter, I'm never really sure what to buy for a little boy. And since we're on a budget, I have to be careful about how much I spend. I ended up with a Melissa and Doug Dinosaur puzzle, a nerf basketball set and a package of plastic Dinosaurs (the theme of his party is Dinosaurs). My total expenditure was around $14, which didn't seem like much but short of buying him an electronic game that would have cost $40, it was the best I could come up with. How much do you spend on gifts for your children's friends birthday parties? Is $14 too much or too little? Where do you generally shop for these gifts? And do you include a gift receipt with the present in case they want to return it? Also if someone gives your child a gift that cost more than you'd usually spend, do you feel like you have to reciprocate, even if it's out of your budget?

Back to school check in

Nicole gently reminded me this morning that I’ve been MIA for quite sometime on my blog. Thanks for the nudge. I needed it. I wish I could write something fun and creative for you guys but it’s early on a Sunday morning and I have a busy day ahead of me so I’ll just give you a quick update instead.

Zoe’s preschool was closed for the summer so we were scrambling to find childcare for her during June, July and August. She attended a few camps and mostly had a great summer. Right before we were heading to Sea World for a few days, she tumbled down some stairs and fractured her collar bone. While the fracture was very small, the doc recommended we nix that trip and take it easy for 2 – 4 weeks with her. We ended up taking a day trip to Turner Falls, which is in Deb’s neck of the wood, instead and we all had a great time. Zoe’s Sabba (Neil's Dad) came with us and he was so prepared. He packed a great picnic lunch and we hung out in the water all day.

Zoe started back to preschool last week. New class, new teacher, new friends. It’s taking some adjusting. I think she’ll be fine in a week or so.

Fertility update – we tried two very expensive and somewhat painful rounds of fertility treatments and decided to give up on that route. Since then, I’ve been working with a nutritionist and yoga teacher/energy healer to get my body in the best shape possible. I’m hoping I can get pregnant naturally and if not, it’s OK. G-d has blessed me with a beautiful little girl who amazes me everyday. Have I mentioned that she has gone pee pee and poo poo in the potty once already : )

My job is currently up in the air due to an acquisition of my company. I’ve been looking for a new job but I’m not in panic mode yet. I want to make sure I find the perfect job for me before I jump ship. So if anyone knows of a great opportunity for a writer/editor, please keep me in mind : )

As a side job, I’m writing for a new Mommy Web site for Dallas Moms - thanks to Amy. It’s called Moms Like Me. I’m also doing some freelance writing for a local attorney.

Neil and I are a few days away from celebrating our three year anniversary and I’m four days away from turning 44. Scary. Very scary. I’m trying not to get too freaked out about it.

I hope all of you are doing great. I’m so sorry I haven’t had time to read your blogs or respond to you. Now that summer is past and we are back on a somewhat routine schedule, maybe I’ll have some free time for one of my favorite addictions … blog reading and writing.

Take care and let me know how you are doing.

The Friday Survey

If you had only one month to find another job, how would you go about it?

The edge of peace

A few years ago, I was interviewing for a job at a healthcare company. I really liked the hiring manager. I was totally excited about the job. I so wanted to be hired. It was down to me and one other person. I didn’t get picked.

I was depressed for weeks. Reliving what I might have said or done wrong. Wondering how they could have chosen someone else instead of me.

Fast forward. I've been working at the company I’m at now for a few months. I meet a new lady that had just been hired. I ask where she came from. And I found out, she was the “other person.” The one who got my dream job.

She had only lasted there a couple of months. That great hiring manager? She quit about two weeks after this lady had started. And she left this newly-hired employee with a big pile of crap on her desk. Awful stuff to sort through. Less-than-great employees to manage and deal with. It was truly a nightmare. She ran from there screaming.

I was given a rare chance to see the “everything happens for a reason” philosophy in action. G-d protected me from that job for a reason. I really wanted it. But he knew it was not a good choice for me. So he pushed me in another direction. He must have known I wouldn’t be able to handle it at the time. So he saved me from a bad situation.

So today, I’m in a similar situation. I found out about a great job opportunity from a former coworker. He emailed me about it. I said I was interested. He talked to his boss. His boss said she has seen my resume before and wasn’t interested but she “might” take another look since this guy knows me. Which means she won’t.

I felt depressed. Rejected. Stepped on.

Until … I remembered the healthcare job. The one I didn’t get. The one I didn’t get for a reason. Hey, maybe G-d is intervening again because he knows this job isn’t right for me. I need to relax. Learn to roll with the punches. Not worry or fret so much.

Then, the big light bulb moment. Maybe, just maybe, we have not been able to have another child for a reason. Maybe G-d knows we’re better off with only one child. Or, maybe the timing isn’t right. Maybe THIS is exactly how everything is supposed to be.

And, for one fleeting moment, I felt it. Peace. Acceptance. It was so close, I almost tasted it. I almost believed in it.

And then it was gone. Just like that. My old, panic and worry self was back. But for those few moments, it felt good to believe. To be at peace with the way things are in my life. To not worry about the future but believe that everything is as it is supposed to be. Everything that should happen to and for me, will happen. Maybe all it takes to live in this state is a little practice. Let’s try it, shall we?

Practice Peace.